Today was hard.  So hard.  I keep trying to stay strong, but I'm afraid that I'm going to lose all feelings that I have at all.

There were so many people to say goodbye.  I wish I knew them all.  Andrew loved his friends.  All of them.    He had such a big heart.  When his stopped... all of ours stopped.  Silent and still, as we waited to hear something.  Anything.  The first breath you took as you re-entered the world.

As I knelt by your casket, I realized I wasn't ready.  Addison and Michael kept wanting to see you.
This just isn't right.
I held it together.  I sound like such an uncaring sister.  My heart hurts so bad.  My head is pounding. All I can do is try to put on a smile and laugh it off.

We all grieve differently.

When I get back home to Sean, I know I'm going to be a wreck but for now, I can at least pretend that I'm breathing.