sleepy talk

He's so critical
    and analytical
that it is so dreadfully hard to not feel his eyes peering through
my soul

I was once a traveler
      I knew nothing of this land
I just knew

I knew that one day I would find the treasure
in the land of untamed wilderness
Where the birds screech loudly with the monkeys
and the forest is a grassy green, unmatchable to anything around these parts
              The water will be a clear blue
It would have been perfect

But his eyes,
they crystallize those dreams
and bring them down to Earth

But his voice
so sweet and rich as if with wine
sings to me as I drift into my eternal sleep

I think of the moments that we have left together
so few
but so many

It feels as though a lifetime could pass and it would never be enough

You have only poured your heart out to me once
but I knew that you meant it

I once believed in fairy tales
and that Peter Pan would sweep me off my feet
but you are something else,
that I can say the least

You are handsome
Intolerable
Loving
Annoying
and the best moment that I will ever remember

Everyone knows that I cannot remember much
but when it comes to you,
I can and will remember everything
anything

I will memorize every love poem and story imaginable and act them all out to you
but I know that none would prove as fitting as ours

He is sleeping
I stare at him through fogged glass
my bare hand on his bare skin
digging deep into his being
inhaling and exhaling all that I can

I am not obsessed
I am
I am-
I am alive

I am human
and I take what I have, and he is all that I want

I want his stubborn attitude and cynical view of the world
His sheepish smile and his warm embrace

A kiss on a quiet evening as I drift into the eternal realm of dreams and dragons
He is my world
My fogged glass

And as the fog grows heavier
My awakened dreams grow obsolete

I'm at a crossroads

-that awkward in between

-that where am I going,

because I sure as Hell don't want to be here

I'm at that no man's land of life

looking around for an exit or an answer

Something to pull me out of this rut

or even just around it

I'm at a red light that just won't turn green

and as much as I want to blow through

and take the repercussions if I'm caught,

it doesn't seem worth it in the end

Maybe I'm just comfortable sitting in this 

awkward in between

this

where do I go from here?

Is it worth stepping forward

if there's a risk of falling back?

I'm at a 

let's run away together and forget about the real world

let's live in a tree house and live as children of the Earth

Fuck society,

Fuck the real world

I want to hide away and live as the innocent child 

kept locked up in the back of my mind

But even if I could manage to escape,

what company would I have?

You would never come with me

to see all that there is out in the life of fantasy

it's just too unrealistic

I'm unattached to reality

I'm at a crossroads

lost in uncertainty