Sun Shining

Sun shining down on my day
I pray that you do not go away
Do not go away,
-not on this beautiful day

Slowly drowning

and no one can save me

Just a rose that lost her thorns

A bird with clipped wings

I'm broken,

or rather,

Breaking with nothing to hold me together

Hold me together

while I fall apart

I keep closing my eyes
with the attempt to let it all go
to let tomorrow fade away into the rising tide
to let forever
    just
stop

Yesterday seemed so easy,
today, so difficult

Tomorrow... I don't even want to think about,
but as the moments slip away
There seems not to be a choice

Not a light at the end of the tunnel,
not a phrase that will take it all away

It is inevitable


I have fallen apart.

Collective thoughts

I have lost
what I longed
so long to have had

Aching limbs
Red, dried eyes,
I promise you, sir,
I am hardly alive

I am a liar
and when I lay
I have lied
for three quarters
of a hard lived day

I can promise you,
my love,
my heart,
that if you can hear my breathing
and my heart beating
that we will soon be one

Just close your eyes
and I will let you take me over
as my body is washed away into infinity
let loose by your strong, holding arms

I am lost
I am a liar
I have laid down all that I once knew
and I lose
It truly is that simple

Believe me
my one and my only
and then,
let me go

A Letter to an Old Friend

Dear God,

We have't spoken for a while but I felt like we should catch up...

I don't really know what to say though because you know it all.  I guess that I'm just stressed is all, you know?  Like I can't escape all this that's behind me.  Like I can't just step up and let all that's weighing me down, go.  I'm scared.  Really scared.  I've never felt so alone before... mostly because I've never been so alone before.

All eyes are on me and what if I fail?  What if I don't get the last word and I let myself crumble to the cruelty surrounding me.  

God,
I just don't know anymore.

I'm trying and trying but the harder I hold on, the more it all slips away and I have forgotten.  Let me find you. Let me find myself somewhere close by.

God... just please promise that this will all be worth it.

Sincerely,
Losing faith as the days pass by

The Guide to Make Teens Dislike You... For no reason

1)  Be a reserved person.

By this I mean be quiet and enjoy alone time.  If you live with roommates that are all very social people, they will label you as antisocial and call you out on not hanging out with them.  When you explain to them that you just enjoy quiet time, but prepared for them to say that you are a loser or that you are antisocial.  Tell them that you like quiet time.  If they persist... tell them to "Fuck off"

2)  Don't Talk About Your Sex Life

For some reason people just love talking about their sex lives.  Even if you have a very exciting one, just don't talk about it.  You will be asked time and time again to open up about it and when you explain that it's a personal matter and you would rather not share, you will be seen as uncool.

3)  Tell People that You think Oral Sex is Gross

You get a lot of weird looks with this one.  Whether you're joking or not, people are very serious about this for some strange reason.

4)  Be in a Happy Relationship

Your peers will hate this.  Jealousy probably though I hear from a lot of girls that it's because they're "young" and want to do whatever they want.  AKA they like having sex with multiple dudes.

5)  Avoid Conflict

Because it just causes more.

A Small Place Across Town

                There’s a place across town, you’d like it.  Real small… yeah, the kind of place that you can go into and just disappear in for a while.  No one would notice, no one would care.  You can just close your eyes and you’re free. 

                The kind of free that you dream about when you’re an adult thinking about your childhood.  The kind of free that a beaten old dog thinks about after being thrown out and kicked.  You know what I’m talking about…

THAT kind of free.

The grass is green and the sun is such a sweet yellow that it tastes like honey and smells like sunflowers.  The flowers are in full bloom and the ground is moist under your feet.  You don’t remember how hot or chilly it was, you just remember that it was perfect.  That when you looked into the distance, you saw infinity unfolding before your very eyes.  You don’t remember what brought you to this experience, nor do you want to.  You just want to take it all back and relive it again.

THAT kind of free.

The waking up at nine a.m. and not feeling tired.  You smell a freshness flowing through your open windows and are drawn up by the morning’s light.  The one you love the most rolls over and as your eyes meet, you feel like words will never explain how much you would give up for that person, how much you love that one and only person.  You push away your thoughts about how the future scares you and, instead, lean in and share a sweet kiss.  The morning could just pass you by but you don’t care.  You are so free in this moment that you never will let it go.  Not until that last breath crosses your lips and you heart beats its last tune. 

You know what I mean.

You just have to go there.  I can take you but you got to go in on your own.  It’s a personally thing that you have to do.  I’m telling you though, it’s a beautiful thing.  It’s like dreaming while wide awake.  It’s like giving up everything to that one person and having it done in return.  It’s comfortable.   You are so free.  Just follow me, it’s not too far from here.

But once you go in and then leave, you can never go back.  Once you leave that place… just… just go in and don’t leave.  It’s just across town.  I’ll take you.  Go disappear for a while.  You deserve it.

XVII (I do not love you...) by Pablo Neruda

I do not love you as if you were salt-rose, or topaz,

or the arrow of carnations the fire shoots off.
I love you as certain dark things are to be loved,
in secret, between the shadow and the soul.

I love you as the plant that never blooms
but carries in itself the light of hidden flowers;
thanks to your love a certain solid fragrance,
risen from the earth, lives darkly in my body.

I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where.
I love you straightforwardly, without complexities or pride;
so I love you because I know no other way

than this: where I does not exist, nor you,
so close that your hand on my chest is my hand,
so close that your eyes close as I fall asleep.

A Walk on the Moon

My Love,

Take my hand

We shall dance among the stars tonight

Sing out into the ever expanding Universe

Take a saunter across the moon

Just you and I,

I and you

The stars performing their own light show

Tickling your eye lashes

While I caress your soft cheeks

Push aside your stunning hair

And kiss you until the sun rises up

Above the grey, dusty mountains

Kiss you until I forget my very own name

But never yours

Not you, my Love,

My only

Tonight we shall soar past the sun

Skate on Saturn’s rings

And swim through the Milky Way

Oh, you are truly beautiful tonight

And always.

You are more than my world

You are my Universe and beyond

We shall walk on the moon

And never turn back

Tonight, you are all mine.

Kill Me

Red water washes over my coarse hands.

Not too long ago
I used to imagine something different
          from this

I don't know what
It just was different
Like-
Something I used to know
I was someone I used to know

No one can see through the facade
the mask covers up too much of the truth
that floats face down with the river
taking the slow bends
riding the rising tide

A hallow hatred fills my lungs
not my heart
as I breath in a dream
and out the denial of everything that once was

Consider me broken

But I won't leave you
Like how you left me

I'll walk away slowly
looking back each half step
hoping that you'll call out for a hand
someone to pull you back from the edge

Even if you don't call,
Remember that I'm here
when it seems that I'm not




You used to love me





Our own lies have torn us apart.

I lift my head and walk away
unsure of how to feel
of how to think

God, this was so easy

Where has all of our time gone?
Is this what the rest of our lives are going to be like?

Sociology is teaching me that we wait around until the next best thing comes around
It's human nature
But you are the very best
and I don't want to wait

I just want you

Fuck it,
I want to give up everything and lay with you
everyday for every hour
to watch the sun rise and then fall
to feel your chest rise and then fall
to simply coexist

rather than watch everyday slip by like sand through my fingers

I am so tired of watching this life go by alone
but it's something that you'll never know

You've never enjoyed reading poetry,
so I doubt that you'd ever find this
but if you do,
just know that I will wait forever if I have to

I'll always be waiting,
hoping,
for you

More to share

If You Forget Me

by Pablo Neruda

I want you to know
one thing.

You know how this is:
if I look
at the crystal moon, at the red branch
of the slow autumn at my window,
if I touch
near the fire
the impalpable ash
or the wrinkled body of the log,
everything carries me to you,
as if everything that exists,
aromas, light, metals,
were little boats
that sail
toward those isles of yours that wait for me.

Well, now,
if little by little you stop loving me
I shall stop loving you little by little.

If suddenly
you forget me
do not look for me,
for I shall already have forgotten you.

If you think it long and mad,
the wind of banners
that passes through my life,
and you decide
to leave me at the shore
of the heart where I have roots,
remember
that on that day,
at that hour,
I shall lift my arms
and my roots will set off
to seek another land.

But
if each day,
each hour,
you feel that you are destined for me
with implacable sweetness,
if each day a flower
climbs up to your lips to seek me,
ah my love, ah my own,
in me all that fire is repeated,
in me nothing is extinguished or forgotten,
my love feeds on your love, beloved,
and as long as you live it will be in your arms
without leaving mine

I Carry Your Heart With Me by E.E. Cummings

i carry your heart with me(i carry it in

my heart)i am never without it(anywhere

i go you go,my dear;and whatever is done

by only me is your doing,my darling)

                                                      i fear

no fate(for you are my fate,my sweet)i want

no world(for beautiful you are my world,my true)

and it’s you are whatever a moon has always meant

and whatever a sun will always sing is you

here is the deepest secret nobody knows

(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud

and the sky of the sky of a tree called life;which grows

higher than soul can hope or mind can hide)

and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart

i carry your heart(i carry it in my heart)

That Which Never Dies

So... there I was doing my sociology homework, listening to pandora... when all of a sudden I heard a song that made me think about the very worst thing that I believe could happen to me.  This is the song:



and then I wrote this...
That Which Never Dies


The last rose falls from her hand onto his grave
~
It falls
For what seems
To be


Forever


She cannot pull herself away
She will not.


Not yet


She cannot pull her eyes away from the words:
Lift your eyes, do not cry.
You’ll awake one day and feel no sorrow.
Trust in me, my love, do not fret.
Even death cannot pull us apart.


The sun shining around her makes little a difference


She reads the words and yet,
she is frozen.


The fresh green grass of spring has rooted into her heels,


Her heart,
She can no longer feel.


The slight breeze that dances through the blooming pink Magnolias that line the cemetery


While her eyes close
And her lungs collapse
Tearing her down onto her knees




Lift your eyes, do not cry…
Even death cannot pull us apart.
Please, my Dearest,
Please do not cry.
Death cannot kill that which never dies

Great Poem to read and share =]

You Are Tired (I Think) by e.e. cummings

You are tired,
(I think)
Of the always puzzle of living and doing;
And so am I.

Come with me, then,
And we’ll leave it far and far away—
(Only you and I, understand!)

You have played,
(I think)
And broke the toys you were fondest of,
And are a little tired now;
Tired of things that break, and—
Just tired.
So am I.

But I come with a dream in my eyes tonight,
And I knock with a rose at the hopeless gate of your heart—
Open to me!
For I will show you places Nobody knows,
And, if you like,
The perfect places of Sleep.

Ah, come with me!
I’ll blow you that wonderful bubble, the moon,
That floats forever and a day;
I’ll sing you the jacinth song
Of the probable stars;
I will attempt the unstartled steppes of dream,
Until I find the Only Flower,
Which shall keep (I think) your little heart
While the moon comes out of the sea.

- e.e. cummings