I keep telling myself,
this can't be real.
This shouldn't be real.
And where's the bitch who did this?
I'm so angry
because I want answers
The truth.
I want to close my eyes,
and open them to it being Thursday morning.
I'll book the first flight home
And be there by nightfall.
When she shows up,
I'll ask her,
"Where's his laptop that you were supposed to bring?"
Then when she says she forgot it,
I'll say,
"Don't come back 'til you have it,
and when you do,
give it to me, then leave."
I'll tell my whole family to be home,
to surround him with love
and just be there.
But the fact that this is reality, isn't sitting too well in my stomach.
When I showered this morning,
all his stuff was in there.
It smelled like him.
I wish I could pull him in for one last hug.
It would smell like him.
Feel like him.
No hug will ever feel the same.
When I spoke to him,
I always looked him in the eye
and he looked back
because we were straight with each other
I knew when he told a lie.
Ugh.
I don't want to talk in past tense. It makes it sound so certain. I keep praying that at the viewing, he'll wake up.
It's crazy.
maybe I'm going slightly insane.
But nothing is more crazy, nor more insane,
than losing what wasn't already lost.
No comments:
Post a Comment