Saunter

Three years ago
I was grappling with the fact
that I was going into
my senior year

My dad dropped me off
helped me get checked in
and unpacked

Then,
after a quick goodbye
we knew that the year
would be long and drawn out
that our time together
would be short
and never enough

Numerous emotions
consuming me
fear, excitement
anxiety, happiness

and then
sadness

childhood
was almost up

The last memories
with whom I once believed to be
my very best friends
my family

What if my grades aren't good enough?
what if I don't get into college?
Everyone gets into college here
What if I'm not a good leader?
I don't earn the respect of my peers?

That year was a blur
Good times
bad times

the in-between times
when things were alright
and we were all just surviving
to get to the next day

I used to laugh and say
"I can't wait to get out of here"

But that last week
was one that I won't forget
Sitting atop of the hill
the sun beaming down
time stood still
all was quiet
and peaceful
I wish I could go back

The back roads and the country farms
The hiking trails through the thick woods
Twilight falling over campus
Like a spell

And the nights were so dark there
dark enough to see all the stars in the sky
dark enough to sneak out in the middle of the night
and just walk

Just saunter
as if it were we ourselves
who were
the saints of the Earth

"All good things are wild,
and free." - Thoreau