Close My Eyes

Dizzy, dizzy
The world keeps spinning.
God,
I said last time
that I was done with this shit

My breath escapes me
Dizzy, dizzy
I can hardly keep my eyes straight
My eyes open

The energy that was in my body
has oozed out from my pores
as I lie here in a puddle
of what feels to be
death

The nightmares woke me
and I was scared.
The demons screeched so loud
in my aching ears

Never in my life
have I felt so scared.
I had no choice.
I don't even want to do this anymore
And yet, there's no other escape.

I am a prisoner to my own body
It acts and I just watch
as an outside observer
As I watch on repeat
my life
and how I got to this low point.

I don't want to be like this.
But this hunger for more
drives me to go on
to keep me sane

Lately though...
Lately the insanity has been tearing me apart
into pieces

Just one more time,
just one more time.
God,
Help me?
I beg and beg

Death has never quite felt so real
as a light approaches
and my blood runs cold.

If I close my eyes it's over

But I never really had a choice
Did I?