Dear Stranger, (On Losing What You Love)

Dear Stranger,

I know that you have loved, and that you have lost.  I know that late at night, your thoughts eat away at you, devouring your heart and consuming your mind.  It is driving you crazy and there is no escape.  Just more insanity.  

These nights keep you up for many more.  Haunting your waking moments, terrorizing you in your dreams.  

I know that you once loved so desperately, and now, you would do anything to get that love back.  The stone hearted are too lucky.  I know that you would give you heart and your soul, and much, much more even just to give life to that undesired death alone.  

Dear Stranger,

Death comes at the most inconvenient of times, don't you think?  And the worst part, is that no one understands who hasn't lost themselves.  But what is that?  A dead loved one's club? 

The worst thing to say at a funeral:  Man, there's a real stiff in here.  Or, Why so glum?  You look like someone died.  

I could go on forever with these jokes.  I'm not heartless.  But when you lose what you love, you become sad, depressed, and often times feel much too alone.  Moments of joy and pleasure, soon become replaced by feelings of guilt, disbelief, and anger.  Sometimes it is the joining of several in mourning that calls on a joke, or a laugh.  Something to lighten the mood.  

What fun is it to cry all the time?

I cry too often, though it feels like it's not enough.  

I cry for my parents

for my siblings,

my cousins,

aunts, uncles,

grandparents,

but mostly

for losing who I loved

Dear Stranger,

You must keep thinking of those trivial arguments that you had, and regretting them.  Saying to yourself, "If only I could change those last words..."

And even if you could, what then would you say?  And what if it changed the outcome of everything?

In my personal experience, I don't think that saying, "Bye, love you." would have changed the outcome much, but I know it would have changed the guilt I had been feeling for months.  

Or that I regret how angry I was because it ruined years of what could have been great memories.  But that is what it means to be human.  We cannot go back, and that is what makes us truly appreciate the good times, and learn from the bad times.

Dear Friend,

I know each day you feel so alone.  I know each day is a struggle and that no matter how much you try to forget or move on, the guilt piles on, and soon you drown in it.  No one understands.  I know that you need someone, another pleading soul, who will listen.  But who could that be?  Just hold on.

Hold on and listen to me.  Listen and know that you are never alone.  He is with you.  In your heart.  Listen.  Listen to the silence and you will hear him. He would never leave you.

He loves you, and that is what love is... making a promise and keeping it even if you're unsure if you can fulfill it.  Love is doing everything in your power for the other's benefit.  He is here.

He will never leave you, nor will I.

That is what love is.
And I
love you.

With all my heart,
Always.