Happy Father's Day

I was thinking of the perfect present... something that spoke for the ages, while listened for the youth. Something that said “Look through me to see the bigger picture,” rather than “Look at me and take me for what I am.” Something selfless but told your story. I was looking for you.

I gathered my sense, or at least all that was left. Carefully, I poured it into my silk pouch and tied it tight. Letting it fall deep into my pocket, I went out in search of you.

The journey was long, hard, and lonesome. Many a times, I fell and could not find the strength to sit back up for what seemed to be all too long. I just sat and listened, hoping that in the silence, I would hear you. The nothingness echoed through the air as I waited in still madness, speaking only to myself.

Sometimes I would sing, hoping my song would bring you home, whispering the words:

Silent as the dreaming day

restless as the summer's breeze

Listen to me,

and soon you'll be home

But it failed each time while I sat and thought of the reasons why. Why are we down to this? This comforting silence and unknown questions answered by the turn towards the sun. I worry sometimes that I'll never find you at this rate.

As the Summer turned to Fall, and the Fall into Winter, the cold wind prevailed on the frozen Earth. I pulled my covers tight each night, as I thought of where you could be . I mapped out every corner of everywhere, or so it seemed. But whenever I thought I had you, you slipped away into infinity.

One night I prayed. Or attempted at the very least. Down on my knees, I pulled out my silk pouch, containing only the last few bits of that sense I once had. As I rubbed it warm, in between my hands, I thought for centuries. I thought of all the places.

At last, I walked onto the iced over lake and cried out to you. I yelled “Father! Why have you left me here so alone? No longer can I do this on my own! Come back to me Father, I am too young to sit on this throne!”

And like that, you were there. A smile crossed your face as your eyes were all aglow. I reached my hand out for yours and for that moment, we were infinite. As if in that moment, our lives were forever; we were immortal. You hugged me tight and you said, “Do not fear, I am always here.” Then you pulled my hand to your heart and asked “What is it that you feel?”

That was when I realized that

Each moment I searched, you sat and watched from afar. Never was I so alone, because as your heart beats, as will mine. Never for a moment will their rhythms beat out of time.

So there I sat, out on the frozen lake. Time standing still, I thought. I thought and thought about what had taken me this far. Was it the wind? Or curiosity? Or a hope that in my search for you, I might find myself? I do not know, but I know it wasn't a journey traveled alone. As I turned back, I knew I wasn't on my own.