Tacenda

I've called myself
The Silent Spirit

But I suppose I never
did explain
why.

I assume most everyone
knows
me.

My history.

My reasoning for why
I keep
so much
bottled up
on the
inside.

Or even
that they
know.

I assume
that you
deep
down
are just
like
me.

I assume that
you put on a facade
each and every day
pretending
that you are the strong and fierce
person
that you project yourself to be
but deep down
the guilt and pain
of losing what you love
cuts you to the core
until it all causes you to
crumble
and lay in a dull ache.

I assume that as the hours
fade into the blinding night
you lay awake
and count your sins
accusing yourself
of certain treacheries.

I assume that
at your core
you are just a frightened child
afraid of what
comes
next
damaged by what came before.

I assume that
you question your every action
uncertain of your decisions
crippled by the fear of disappointing
those you dearly love.

I assume that
your smile is probably fake
because your eyes are all too telling
of the pain you hide inside.

I assume that
you once had a person
so beloved to you
that you would do anything for
but that person turned
and stabbed a knife
right through your heart
and that many nights
when your guilt turns to
dreams
you dream of said person
and the friendship you
thought you had.

And mayhap
in my assumption
I was wrong.

But that
-that my dear friend,
is why I
am
The Silent Spirit.

-

She whispered Tacenda
He nodded.

The secrets of the world
are best left
unsaid.

The Chronicles of an Incomplete Character

I told her

that our time is fleeting

but she turned to me

with a fearless smile

-her eyes ablaze with 

newfound courage

and whispered

"As am I."

~

The lights flickered 

from behind her bloodshot eyes.

-Always calculating

Lost within the confines of her own mind

she waits 

for someone 

anyone

to look beyond the looking glass

to pull her from the dark depths

that encircle each thought

each moment

She told herself 

she was brave 

she was all-knowing

but what was the point of knowing

if it only ended in her own demise?

She takes a breath

Exhales

Swallows

And so it begins.

And so it shall 

all

end. 

~

The tension in the air lingered longer

this time than the last.

New beginnings often bring 

painful ends. 

But, if you could just hear me for one moment,

the book was never closed. 

The chapter never complete.

We sit as unfinished characters in a flawed tale.

~

If you could please just hear me

for one moment.

I don't think she can though.

Her blank stare 

and damp palms

I know you are in there.

But she's not.

The darkness has taken hold.

She exhales.

And exhales.

And exhales.

Until there is nothing left of her.

Just a crumpled excuse of 

who she once was.

Please

hold on.

But she let go 

a long, long time ago.

I want to hold her

to breathe the life back 

into her limp body.

Her eyes

follow mine

as if to hear my thoughts.

Don't 

go.

A tear falls

silently

and I want to plead with her

to beg her to come home.

But she has left

me.

And with her

I am gone.

~

The night sinks into me

like a blade into flesh.

My worst untold tragedy

was the one I could never admit to myself.

These wounds were always self-inflicted.

You think we are alone

and perhaps

we were.

But, my love,

look at the clock. 

Our time

is running out.

You Think We Are Alone

You thought we were something

I could have stopped it

But the ship was sinking

and I needed to 

drown.

On Moving On

You would think that with great change
would come great pain

Assimilate or die

But as I look at the mountains in the distance
and the sun setting behind them
I cannot help but feel a relief
deep within my bones
a freedom
that I have not felt
in much too long.

There is a guilt
of course
but the air is light
and the sky is clear

I suppose you wouldn't understand
but the desert is calling me

-I am here
and for once
I feel fine
just fine.

And I want to keep it
that way. 

Time falls

sideways

And 

moments

play in

reverse

but if 

I may 

JUST

say

One

word

Goodbye.

He was everything 

I ever needed

more than I had wanted

and filled my skies

with shades of reds and blues

that I never thought 

myself worthy of. 

And one day

He became 

my home.