Dead silence fills our home

as twilight falls upon us

I look into your eyes

and know

I am yours.

You are mine.

The sun is setting
slowly

And in these last moments
There is
Hope.

WE ARE THE SURVIVORS

There is something that should be said for the survivors.
Something.
What exactly,
I do not know.

There is something that should be said for the survivors,
the overcomers
the down trodden
beaten
and damned

Those who have looked the Devil
right in his eyes
and had the gall to tell him,
"Not today, sir. Not today."

There is something that should be said for the heartbroken,
who have lost their way,
the last bit of love in their heart,
Yet, still have the need to see tomorrow
despite how uncertain it looks.

There is something that should be said for the survivors,
Who have felt the blade cut deep,
felt it twist, and then nothing.
Having to pull the blade out themselves.

Some think it is strength,
but I dare say, rather,
they are now numb.

Here is to the survivors.
Where to feel anything at all
is  to feel alive.

While there may be a hole in my heart,
a permanent tear frozen under my eye
and my bones ache from the cold

Each day
you refill my life
with love
beauty
and a reason to look forward
to tomorrow

You wipe away
my tears
telling me about the life
that one day we'll have
and whether it's true
or not
I don't care
all I care about
is you

The cold that resides in the depths of my bones,
you cure so easily.
The warmth of your body
radiating through my skin
getting down right into my core

And my God,
you fill me with so much life
and so much love.

I would be empty
without you.

Hallowed Ground

Fire
clawing into my eyes
tearing at my throat

My heart is nothing more
than an empty shell
awaiting the grand return
of who I once was.

Rain
pouring down from green-blue
salty pools
onto irritated and raw cheeks.

Lord,
I am begging you
to save me.

To tell me that it is okay
to fall apart.

All I see are these faces
of those who don't understand
staring at me
with persecuting eyes
coarse whispers
and soulless hearts.

I can feel myself changing
I am no longer the girl I once was

In my dreams
she is there
looking at me through windows
leaving messages on little scraps of paper
strewn about for no particular reason

In my dreams
she tells me
that nothing will ever be the same.

I'm back at square one.

Weak knees
Bleeding heart
Then
Nothing
Just a hollow grief
plunged deep
unable to show itself to anyone
but myself

All I am
is broken
bleeding out
onto hallowed ground.

The End For a Small Price

There is so much left to learn
about this world
other worlds
Heaven
and ourselves

Is it only in your dying breath
that it is all exposed to you
so brilliantly

A light
that you walk towards
knowing it is good
Knowing
that it is now your time

But time for what?

The end
or the beginning

The starting line
or the mere finish?

It is as if all of this time
were nothing
if not wasted
on the small things
on everything but keeping ourselves alive

How selfish.

I would give up my life
a million times over
just to save the ones I love
and yet it would never be enough
to show how much my heart
beats for them
All of them.

Sometimes
I look back on my life
wondering if this journey has all been worth it
All those moments of pain
Anguish
A hurt in your heart that you can't seem to bandage up

Given up for a grander cause

For a hope at a better life
For a hope that after this darkness
there will be a light
so beautiful
and bright
that we will know to walk towards it
Run towards it
Forgetting all of the past
Only to think of the perfection
that lay beyond

Not worrying if it is just a story
We tell ourselves at night
to make the nightmares go away.

To make the shadows stop moving
and to ease the sharp pain
where your heart should be
It seems you lost it a long while ago 
though

It is the prayer we make in a dream
telling ourselves
this can't be real
this can't be real
fighting to wake up
screaming with the last of your breath
while your demons hold your eyes closed
and rips their nails through your skin

There is so much left to learn in this world

Are we chosen when it has been decided
that we know too much
or have a plan much too grand for this unholy place.

All these places of worship
put to test our faith
to test how much we're willing to buy into
something better than here and now
and what if this is Hell?

My heart aches
and trembles
wondering why anyone be so cruel
as to put us through this torture.

But if you're reading these
and you've asked yourself
"What does she mean?"

It is quite simple.

I love you,
and wish it didn't have to end this way.