Vices.

Time
      Slows
   Down
            Again.

I am drowning
in
my own
        vices.

I crave
the stillness
     that rests
on the edge of
             this
    moment.

-the silence
      that rests
between
       us.

I suppose
   you would
call it
     apathy
but if
               you see
through the
      charade
You would know
thatIcaresofuckingmuchthatIhidebehindtheapearanceofnotcaring

It is
   so much easier
that way.

You would know
that it keeps me awake at night
          through the Nyquil,
through the melatonin,
through the whatever my doctor prescribed me
                    that I am afraid to take
but afraid that I will be kept up by the voices in my head
that whisper sweet nothings into my aching ears
like how much I have done
to hurt you
if I don't take it.

-I don't know-

I crave the
       stillness
that rests on the edge of
                                      my dreams.

The moments between reality
                       when time ceases to exist
                        When rather than being within a framework
we just are. 

But let me uncork this.
But let me unscrew this.
But let me uncap this.
But let me chug this down
-the burning taste running smooth
down my throat. 

Let me drown
(tonight)
in my vices.