I love him

like the breeze loves

the ocean

Ebbing 

and flowing

across the white peaks

down through the deep valleys

Gently 

Ferociously 

As

the waves 

crash down 

over me.

Of every beautiful thing

that I have ever seen

-that has ever existed-

I take a deep breath

I peer on 

Bewildered

-Why?

And for what end?

Was this all some sick joke?

And I the victim of a cruel joke?

He laughs with the same vigor he did before

booming

and crashing down with a ferocity

unbeknownst to my fellow beings

The cruelest joke

is that you will never understand.

I blink

He is gone

The wind tears wildly with the waves crashing

all around me

as I stand on this stone jetty 

alone.

I guess I always knew that.

I watch on 

with eager eyes

as the universe

consumes me.

Free floating

without direction

into the open ocean.

Stars dance across

the drawn out sky

-effortlessly

Water caressing 

my skin

gently

as I float

into 

my 

own

oblivion.

-Into

the universe

unfolding

before 

me. 

Opened eyes.
Tired minds.

It all blends to be
the same.

Long days
short days

-But what does it matter?
As long as I've got you.
I've got something
-No
Someone
to hold onto.


Weary bones
Inside jokes.

My heart smiles
at the sound
of your voice.

Tell me
Life won't always
be like this?

Or that it will be
and that we will fall asleep
at the end of hard days
wrapped tightly
within each others arms
As we look forward
to the better days ahead.

Tell me
-
Tell me there is something more
for us.

Answers

Within the darkness
my eyes search
for the answers
my mind asks
of the universe

-

The vast emptiness
always seems
to astonish me
as if it would be
the first time
my heart
has felt this way.

As if
it is the first time
that I have fallen
to my knees
in anguish
and despair
asking,
"Why, God?
Why?"

~

He refuses to answer
when he knows
you place no trust in him.

Funny how that works.

~

In my hand
I hold a smooth,
flat rock.

I grip it just right,
Lean back.
And whip it out with the flick
of my wrist.

As it glides out
into the rough waters.

Skipping


Once


Twice

Three times-

and it is gone.

~

That must be my answer.

Can You Hear Me

All of these familiar faces
-Again.

I close my eyes
and try to think 

I wonder-
Can you hear me?

"Can you hear me?"
I scream until my throat is raw
and my lungs are heavy.

Lord  knows
we have stood together like this
too many times.

Heads bowed.
Soft smiles
hiding the pain
that you can only feel
after losing one
whom you've loved
so very much.

My heart weeps
-for you.
-for us.
-for the fresh wound
cut open
once again

Standing here
on the edge of the world
before
your vacant body
I scream
within myself
Move!
Do something!

To the outside world
-I cry.
I mourn
that which I can never have
again.

~

My thoughts race
as I close my eyes
in the dead of night.

Can you 
hear me?

Please.

Hear me.