Rain

The rain falls quietly from outside my window.
Like a child with nothing else to do,
I watch in sheer boredum
My mind wandering through its own thoughts
Dog snuggled up to my side
as I lay on this small bed.

It's cool outside these days,
as winter approaches
with no regard for
our quite obvious objections.

It seems as though
Fall has just begun
and yet,
the trees are almost barren
and the air smells
of earthly decay.

The window pane is cool
to the touch
and fogs up
as I exhale
from a deep breathe.

I cannot help but wonder
what there is outside of all of this.
Outside of this house,
and out in the rain.
Out beyond this small town
beyond the greatest of oceans.

My dog nozzles her head against my leg
as I realize I've been clutching her for warmth.

My eyes  follow a leaf falling slowing despite
being beaten down by the rainfall
until it rests
easily
on the softened
ground.

The Boy

Once upon a time,
I met a boy who made me laugh
and made me think.

He was kind.
He was so very kind.

We spent our time
walking
and playing
in the forest
and by the stream.

This boy,
He looked past my obvious flaws
and I,
past his.

His smile,
-his face
was beautiful.

I still picture him,
the sun shining off his hair,
and the light
reflecting wonderfully
from his eyes.

We were innocent,
you see.
We were pure in our motives.
-We were friends.

Until we were not.

Until one day
I realized that what I felt for him
was more than friendship,
it was love.

And what a terrifying realization
that was.

To know
that in my hands
there was the heart of a boy
whom I quite clearly loved
and whom had loved me all along.

How nerve wracking.

It frightened me to know
that my heart had found what it desired
so soon.
-mayhap too soon.

But you know
that I ran.

I ran as fast
and as far as I could.

Until
there was nowhere left to run
except back home into his arms.

-

Once upon a time,
I met a boy
A dear and kind boy.

And I have loved him
ever since.

Hands tremble,
shaking in fear

Has it always been this way?
-Broken?

As I reach to pick up
the shattered glass pieces,
a pain shoots up
through my finger
up into my heart.

Now there is even more 
of a mess to clean up.

I love him

like the breeze loves

the ocean

Ebbing 

and flowing

across the white peaks

down through the deep valleys

Gently 

Ferociously 

As

the waves 

crash down 

over me.

Of every beautiful thing

that I have ever seen

-that has ever existed-

I take a deep breath

I peer on 

Bewildered

-Why?

And for what end?

Was this all some sick joke?

And I the victim of a cruel joke?

He laughs with the same vigor he did before

booming

and crashing down with a ferocity

unbeknownst to my fellow beings

The cruelest joke

is that you will never understand.

I blink

He is gone

The wind tears wildly with the waves crashing

all around me

as I stand on this stone jetty 

alone.

I guess I always knew that.

I watch on 

with eager eyes

as the universe

consumes me.

Free floating

without direction

into the open ocean.

Stars dance across

the drawn out sky

-effortlessly

Water caressing 

my skin

gently

as I float

into 

my 

own

oblivion.

-Into

the universe

unfolding

before 

me.