It's hard to not think about you.  You're everywhere I look.
Around every corner I turn.

You're haunting me, by not showing yourself.

Everyday tears me to pieces.
There are somethings that no one will ever know

It's been a long while since I last wrote.

Not because I didn't want to, you see...
I did want to.
I couldn't.

It breaks me up to write when the thought of you is still so fresh on my mind.
I'm not over it.  Far from it to be quite honest.

I won't ever accept that you're gone.

The week is done.
We've made it through.

Barely.

Restlessly tossing and turning all hours of the night
And even when I did sleep
I woke up feeling nothing.

Nothing is an awful lot to feel
Awful lot to rest on my shoulders
And it's all that is left of you.

I keep asking myself "why?"
But to no avail.
No one will ever know why.

It's this sunken, slow beating heart
that keeps me up at night
and the guilt that runs through my mind.

Will these feelings every fade?
Will you ever become a mere memory and nothing more?

Saving You

Sometimes I can't sleep.

By sometimes,

I mean very often.

I try to convince myself that I am fine

but let's be honest here,

I'm not.

I'm overtired

over stressed

and I miss you most of all

Lately,

I have been stuck thinking about

your birthday coming up

remembering last years birthday

It hurts to know we'll never celebrate together 

again

It hurts to know that no matter where I am in this world

you won't be here with me.

I spent the last ten years trying to find out what happened to my big brother

only to truly lose him in the end.  

All the pain that I had ever wished on you

I would take it back in a heart beat

I would inflict it upon myself instead.

If I could go back in time

and know what I know now...

I just wanted to save you.

Today is a slow day.
Only 11:25 and I've spent all morning thinking about you.

The year of firsts.

The first summer without you.

I wish we didn't feel so alone.

Can You Feel My Heart by Bring Me The Horizon

Can you hear the silence?
Can you see the dark?
Can you fix the broken?
Can you feel... can you feel my heart?

Can you help the hopeless?
Well, I'm begging on my knees,
Can you save my bastard soul?
Will you wait for me?

I'm sorry brothers,
So sorry lover,
Forgive me father,
I love you mother.

Can you hear the silence?
Can you see the dark?
Can you fix the broken?

Can you feel my heart?

I'm scared to get close and I hate being alone.
I long for that feeling to not feel at all.
The higher I get, the lower I'll sink.
I can't drown my demons, they know how to swim.

Can you feel my heart?

Can you hear the silence?
Can you see the dark?
Can you fix the broken?
Can you feel... can you feel my heart?

By Bring Me The Horizon

I love this song.