Each day that we have survived
is a reminder that you have not.

Like the lone tree that survives the whole winter
green leaves and all.

You have outdone us,
left us freezing through this harsh winter
As you alone
Blossom fully in heaven's light.

To say we are alive is one thing
But to truly feel it...
You forgot to show me how.

As my eyes flutter closed,

and the dream world envelopes me

You're my final conscious thought.

As I wish for you in my dreams.

Perhaps the rain was falling that day for a reason

Perhaps not.

However, there is a reason

                    for everything

The world was crying that day 

for you

for losing someone irreplaceable.

I don't know how everyone else just keeps going.

There's so much left to say

but no one left to say it too.

Pain

No one will ever understand this pain.  But it's here.  And it's real.  And there's no way to make it go away.

I am dealing with it.  Surviving each day on my own.
I miss you.  Each day on my own.
Living.  Each day on my own.

We will meet again.  Someday.
I'm not particularly sure when that will be.
I'm not sure how that will be.  But it will be.  I know.

On Letting Go

No one will ever understand this pain,

Unless he has felt it himself.

I did not wish this pain on anyone.

Yet,

He's crying all the same. 

The rope that I held onto?

I did not let it go.

The rope snapped violently

and whipped back at me 

as the storm raged on.

I fell.

Lost in this endless ocean,

there I was forced to swim on and on

until the only thing left to do

was survive. 

I can survive

For I am alive.

I can save him

or at least throw the rescue rope.

Perhaps he will grab on.

Perhaps he won't.

But it is my duty all the same

to try.

Dreams

You came to me in a dream.  I wasn't quite sleeping, but I was far from being awake.  I saw the land of dreams just over the horizon, but had much of a journey left to go.  Eyes flickered open, then half closed.  Then they slowly sank down,

into

sleep.

Bursts of white and gold light.
Your laughter.

I can still hear it.

Peace.
Your warm embrace.
I haven't felt this much love in too long.
You tell me,
"I love you.
This is not the end."

This isn't the end.

I saw heaven in that instant.  I saw you.

The land of dreams approaches.  I continue on with open arms.