The Endless Thoughts (casual sestina)

Time there is to find what I seek
Though when that will be
Oh, I cannot think
I can only wait and wonder
And dream of when it will come
While days and nights pass on much too slow

Reality unbecoming, my thoughts moving slow
and then slower as if playing hide and seek.
However, soon enough, to me they will come
Or at least, that is how it should be
I can only wait and wonder
In a poor attempt to think

Oh, if only I could think!
But under my own feet, I am slow
To hope and then to wonder
I am looking for something, to seek
the answer to the question "who should I be?"
I pray that one day, to me the answer will come.

Yet, who will come
when I can no longer think
I am who the world decided me to be
Developing in the midst of a summer so slow
My eyes cannot seek
the answers, though I wonder!

Wandering while I wonder
"Is this all there is to come?"
There are so many answers that I seek
yet, to be honest, I can only think
that with the days moving by so slow
that this is how it is meant to be.

If not, then there must be
another who would venture quietly to wonder
with me as we walk, ever so slow
hoping that there will be more to come
more for us to think
This cannot be all that we seek

Alas, a slow day is all that it will be
While we seek all that is but a wonder
as we think "is this all there is to come?"

To Summer Day

In these moments there is peace
-the kind of peace that you read about in stories,
            usually fairytales or something of that sort

The dark green blades of grass coupled with those of the dead
dancing in the heavy breeze
While the evergreens laugh with me
   -Waving back and forth

My good old Belle,
loyal as she is
lays sleepily beside me...
     the red bricks warming her belly
While her ears perk up to the
Wind chimes singing with the birds

I can only wait and wonder
how long this peace will last

Oh, to my summer days,
how much I shall soon
miss you

The Promise

I guess there's only one thing left to do when I'm not allowed to be with you, and that would be to pour my heart out like a vase with old water; the flowers left withering and crisp.  I cannot help but to love everything about you.  Whenever your hand, ever so softly, caresses my face, I could die in that moment and know that my life was complete.   Every time that your lips meet with mine, I know that we are meant to remain together until the end of our time.

And I promise you that I am, indeed, obsessed with you.  How could I not be? It has been four long years and, my Love, I have missed you so much.  The once a month visits were never enough and I know you say that you love me but, God, if there was some way to bring us closer together. 

You say that marriage is just a dream right now but you promise me it will happen soon.  And, you know what? I smile at the thought because I just want to know that I am bound to you in the Holiest way possible.  Call it whatever you would like, but I love you and I know that you love me too.  I know that when you hold me, you wish you didn't have to let go.  If time could stop forever, I would never let you go.  I would hold on stronger than vice grips or gorilla glue.  

Our parents don't know what to think. They accept it but don't want to jinx it, or at least that's what I like to tell myself.  Honestly, I have no idea.  You know me; I just like to daydream about everything.  You tell me that I can't always have my head in the clouds.  But where else is it supposed to be?  

My Love, I want you in the best way possible.  I want you to be mine.  I want to know that you are safe and that you are sound.  I will do anything to keep you comfortable and happy.  Your wish is my command.  If I held the traits, I could be your nymph. However, I don't think that my qualities   Trust me though, I will sure as Hell try.  

And what does that even mean?  Sure as Hell?  What is Hell?  Does it even exist? I don't even know if I exist.  Half the time I'm stuck in my own world wondering what is real and what isn't.  If you're not real, that would come as no surprise because you are better than all the dreams I ever did have.  

And... and-

Have you ever just though... what if things didn't happen this way?  We are so lucky.  Out of six and a half billion people and we happened to live down the street and fall in love.  We held each other together for four years and plan to keep it going.  I don't know about you, but I think that the odds that were against us were pretty high and we conquered.  

And if you want to leave me tomorrow, it won't come as a surprise.  You are just so perfect.  I cannot even begin to explain it.  How when I look at you, I have no idea what to do.  I am so in love with you.  

So...

If you ever forget me,

I won't blame you.

The Comforting Silence

From here and then farther
    into the night we shall go

A comforting silence while my chin rests on your chest
nose nuzzled into your side
and it feels quite alright

             Like someplace that I would like to...
     Oh, you know,
Stay for a while

As we watch the expanding universe veer off towards infinity
   and the gravitational pull of
Earth's atmosphere drags us in deeper
                                             and deeper
into itself

And yet,
I can't help but think
I wouldn't mind staying here for a while

Emily Dickinson... my lady

Oh the things that I could say about my dear friend Emily...  She brings me back all the way to my beginnings with writing.  I love this lady.  A close friend of mine's mom brought us to Emily's house when we were somewhere around ten years old.  Well, I found that her writing was inspiring and truly touched my heart and wanted to do the same.  I understand that with all things, practice makes perfect but I wanted to share with you a poem that really sparked the interest:

It was not death, for I stood up,
And all the dead lie down; 
It was not night, for all the bells 
Put out their tongues, for noon.

It was not frost, for on my flesh
I felt siroccos crawl,
Nor fire, for just my marble feet
Could keep a chancel cool.

And yet it tasted like them all;
The figures I have seen
Set orderly, for burial,
Reminded me of mine,

As if my life were shaven
And fitted to a frame,
And could not breathe without a key;
And I was like midnight, some,

When everything that ticked has stopped,
And space stares, all around,
Or grisly frosts, first autumn morns,
Repeal the beating ground.

But most like chaos,--stopless, cool,
Without a chance or spar,--
Or even a report of land 

To justify despair.

Saying Sorry

The wind blows

and where it goes

-nobody knows

it just flows away

into the breaking horizon

as the sun rises up

and the brilliant shimmer of day

glitters across the calm water bay.

The birds sing

as the breeze dances on their wing

and maybe this time

the preying jester will fool his king

Into thinking

that on this first day of Spring

nothing will come of the man

who refuses to say sorry

that his guilt will not haunt him

That he will not have to

go out on a limb

for anyone

And when he realizes he is wrong

He will have claimed

“I knew it all along”

Though in his heart

he is deeply shamed

because it is so hard to say sorry

when, afterwords, all he can do

is worry

that sorry will not mean Enough.

Sweater Vests

Sweater-vests are so cool

I wear them all the time,

Yeah,

Even at school.

So, I’m a tool

What of it?

You think you’re so nifty

Well, you don’t look so thrifty

So kick me,

A little boy just screamed:

“Ew, he licked me! He licked me!”

Johnny, stop it

Don’t lick anyone

That’s rude

Calm it down a bit

Don’t intrude

on my bliss

Well hey now,

     Check out those wrists

But you can’t top this

Check it with a plane white tee

I’ll dress it up

with a button down

So will you PLEASE

                  Look at me!

No, I said

                     Look at me!

I’m like a four year old

learning my ABCs

I’m so proud

You could spot me in the crowd

But it’s only because

sweater vests are so cool

Don’t look at me like I’m a fool

It’s the fashion key

Just wait.

You’ll see

This has been my one and only attempt at slam poetry.  Having recently graduated from boarding school, I rocked the sweater vest on occasion and found them to be quite fashionable though my classmates would most likely disagree.  Anywho, give me some feedback or send in your own!  Slam poetry is serious fun.  Try it out!  =D