I'm trying to get better

to get through this

to be the person 

you need me to be

but I don't know

how much more I can take

On my knees

I look to the dark sky

begging for more time

for another chance

just something

to make thing change

but it's all for nothing

I know what

needs to be done

but I am hesitating

I am watching

you 

hold me together 

as I let you fall apart.  

I am selfish.

I want to let go.

I want to scream and cry and fight and utterly destroy myself to get back what we once had

but I am exhausted 

and I know

that it is all for nothing.

I just need to pick up my own pieces.

If only it were so easy.