Tuesday, March 18, 2014

Grief

Which way am I going?
Who am I becoming?
And where did I go?

~

The mirror reflects a stranger
staring with grey eyes
and pale skin,
scratching...
-pounding at the glass
to break out
To let the world hear of her horrors

I tell myself that I don't know her
I don't know that face
those tears,
where did those come from?

No,
I-
I know nothing of who she is.

I know nothing of the pain plaguing my her heart.


The silent echo of her screams
haunt me in my dreams,
we're young
just kids
laughing
playing
and then
it hits me all over again
It's just a dream.

I look into the mirror
Who am I?
A shadow image
of the girl I she once used to be

I don't want to live like this
Hiding away from my friends
my family
making excuses for my own reflection
following me as I look back at myself
wondering
how I let myself become this person

She gives me a pained smile
a beautiful smile

But it is something 
And something is better than nothing

As the winds blow furiously at me 
from all directions
I am on my knees,
begging
screaming
but no one can hear

She just looks on 
Empathy and tears filling her eyes

And then I realize
It is I who am behind the looking glass
and it is She who needs me
~



I yell to the sky
asking why this has happened
and why I have been left 
to slowly pick up the pieces
of my shattered life.

Grief stricken parents,
a brother suffering his own guilt and grief,
a younger brother finding his own way
through a world much crueler than he.
And I, the sister,
watching from the edge of the world
as the pieces move together, 
then apart.

Trying to hold our family together
All the while 
tearing at the seams.
~
I watch from the edge of the world
as asteroids collide with our fragile Earth
I watch as the ground beneath me 
is shattered
and all I can do is beg
for mercy.
~
Mayhaps 
we shall meet again.
Mayhaps.
In another time.  
Another life.

With all of my love 
and all of my life,
Kirsten

P.S.  even in silence, I speak your name. To hear your voice.
~

The stars,
may they shine bright 
on this very night
for you.

It was always
for you.

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Unity

 Each  and every  day we grow older Our wrinkles grow deeper Our hair thins greys and falls out Each  and every  day We grow My heart aches ...