Vastly Apart

His eyes-
those eyes...
Those horribly sad eyes.

Peered through me
and pierced my aching soul.

His lips moved
but I cannot seem
to remember his words
-just his face.

His longing
to leave
To be anywhere
than here.

His hands
folded neatly
but scratching at themselves
spoke loud enough
despite his muted words

In the darkness
we sat
in the comforting silence
of expecting the loss
that was approaching us
at a rapid, calculated speed.

We were still.
But
We were together. 

Together
but
soon to be
vastly apart.

The sea is calm

The sky

-clear and blue.

But my heart

is pounding

in the silence 

that looms 

awkwardly amongst us. 

You ask me

"What's wrong?"

And God,

I don't want there 

to be anything wrong

but there is.

"I'm tired." I sigh, "I 

am so tired." 

It's true. 

My bones are weary

Disappointment flows through me.

- I don't want to do this anymore.  

The Backdrop Fades to Grey

I find myself sitting
In silence
As the world
Continues to crumble
Before me.

I reach out with grasping hands
To do something
-anything to fix it
Or even just hold it together before its all
Gone
-Again-
But alas
It is useless

It is so fucking useless.

The backdrop
Fades to grey.

The Seeing Glass

I wanted there to be more

to all of this.

I am so conflicted

within my own head.

My being rages,

craving my Earthly desires

while my thoughts reach

and wander

meandering toward 

a higher purpose 

or meaning.

My heart- smothered 

by thick vines

and my mind 

is locked away in a prison 

constructed of its own devices.

Like a child tucked away 

in her room,

I look from behind my own eyes

- my windows

into the outside world.

Life passing me by.

I cannot help but wonder

Do they see me?

Can they hear me?

Their eyes gaze through me 

like I am nothing more 

than a refraction through the seeing glass.

-a distraction 

from the real picture.

My quiet comforts

have become my 

only comforts.

So I will sit.

And watch.

Through my end

of the seeing glass. 

Standing Still

Time was passing.

You could see it 

in the trees.

You could feel it

in the air.

The moment felt longer

than others though.

Drawn out by some 

unknown forces 

watching- 

out in the distant reaches 

of the universe.  

My hands reached

to grasp it

between my fingers

and hold onto it 

forever

But I was too late

and just like that

the moment slipped away

and time

moved forward.

-exhale-

It just keeps moving forward.  

She sat

wrapped up

within

a 

tiny world

that existed

only 

within 

the confines of 

her own 

imagination.

The nights were long

and lonesome.

Dark

and filled with 

terrors

that haunted her dreams.

She sat

wrapped up

within 

a 

tiny world-

a fragile little thing

-

my God though, 

a beautiful little thing. 

-

Her dark hair framing her 

fair face.

Her eyes as clear as 

the sky itself.

Her bony shoulders

protruding through her

emerald green dress.  

-

She sat 

wrapped up 

within her dreams

that held her closely

as the darkness closed in

as night approached 

menacingly.

The only things to comfort her

as the world spun on 

uncontrollably.

-

Her mind 

filled with endless possibilities

-both beautiful

and gruesome.

She was not someone that 

everyone could love.

Her mind continuously racing 

toward the next dream

-or nightmare.

-

She sat

wrapped within

the confines

of 

herself.  

I tell
myself
to
stop.

Breathe.

Stop.

It is
almost
comical
how I do this
to
myself.

Stop.

Breathe.

Stop.