Can You Hear Me

All of these familiar faces
-Again.

I close my eyes
and try to think 

I wonder-
Can you hear me?

"Can you hear me?"
I scream until my throat is raw
and my lungs are heavy.

Lord  knows
we have stood together like this
too many times.

Heads bowed.
Soft smiles
hiding the pain
that you can only feel
after losing one
whom you've loved
so very much.

My heart weeps
-for you.
-for us.
-for the fresh wound
cut open
once again

Standing here
on the edge of the world
before
your vacant body
I scream
within myself
Move!
Do something!

To the outside world
-I cry.
I mourn
that which I can never have
again.

~

My thoughts race
as I close my eyes
in the dead of night.

Can you 
hear me?

Please.

Hear me.

I will remember this moment

for the rest of my life

As I look out

at the bright moon

kissing the roaring waves.

Nothing.

Nothing will ever compare.

The mysteries of the universe debated by drunken druids of the night

Children of the moon,
we dance
we frolic
in the waves of night
crashing
softly on the disappearing sand

We laugh
and howl
like primitive animals
as we look outwards
at the light fading
in and out
of the dark clouds

As we look for ourselves
within the salty water
half-tempted to let it drag me back
in

And as we laugh,
and then fall,
knees crashing into the hard sand
we feel no pain
we laugh and keep falling
like a toddler learning how to walk

-It is beautiful.

Nothing seems to make much sense

Days are dizzying


Thoughts on our outcome
leave me numb

My heart aches with a familiar pain
longing for a place to call home
but you've long since left
Leaving me to drown on my own

But don't you worry

I am
Fine.
Just
Fine.

Water filling my lungs
-I go under.

I'm well practiced
in drowning.

Onward and upward

The wind blows softly
-the song
it is one that
I used to sing

Why do we do this
to ourselves?

I sit up at night
reciting the words
by heart
with all my heart

But I know
Beyond the shadow
of a doubt

That you're not real.
And if you are,
you stopped caring
a long time ago.

Empty Spot

I rise with the sun like I used to

feeling the empty spot 

beside me.

Within me.

It reminds me 

of how things used to be.

How they will be

from now on.

But then again,

It's not the first time.