tecenda

Crash landed

and 

I don't have my head 

screwed on straight

enough to see 

the light

right in front of 

me.

I breathe
I try
and try
to breathe.

But my throat
catches
with a sharp
choke.

Crash landed
and
my head aches
with raw
- gnawing pain
I don't have my
head screwed on
straight
enough

to see
the light

right in front
of me.

Begin Again.

Start
Stop
Rewind
Replay
and

Begin
Again.

Begin

Again.

Stop.

Breathe.

Fuck.
What
am I doing?

Rewind.
Stop.
Start.

3
2
1

Begin
Again.

The Moments Between Us

We live

in 

the moments

between 

then

and now

and we laugh

with a freedom 

that is

pure

and innocent.

I inhale

your 

exhale

and 

in those moments

we are

so alive

and drunk 

on what 

it means

to feel

everything

and nothing-

to feel

anything
anything
at all. 

But The Voices in Your Head

You.

I am so glad 

that you are here.

I was wondering when you would stumble my way

and read the words that you know are written 

across your doubt-stricken heart.

But it doesn't have to be this way.

No, 

No.  

It never had to be this way.

I was wondering 

when you would find yourself

so uncomfortably 

down upon your knees

begging for someone to make sense of things.  

But the voices in your head

no

they aren't going to be the ones to tell you

where to go from here.

No.

no.

But, my god, how loud they do scream!

You.

you.

I am so, so very glad that you are here.

I was wondering

when you would come to question your very motives

but since you are here

listening to my words

it had to be sooner

rather than 

later.

Why did you choose this

in the first place?

Do not tell me

this is not your own fault.

Do not 

lie to me.

I knew you would falter.

I knew you would stumble.

I knew 

more than anything

that your character 

could crumble.

But it hoped,

no,

I begged,

that it wouldn't 

destroy the ones you loved.

A Cup of Coffee

I smile

Because I am 

alive

and 

I am 

with you.

~

Words left unsaid over the morning coffee and the enlightened smirks 

that sit behind their warm cups.  

Like Confetti

A shattered glass
litters the floors
like confetti
the day after
the grand event.

It's just kind of sad.

I let out
an exhausted
sigh.

He was supposed to be here.

But he isn't.

Instead,
I sit beside the open window
with a heavy
anxiety
that I toss between my hands.

Nails scratching at
dried skin
as I grate the uncertainty
out of myself.

Momentary deep breaths.

He was supposed to be here.

Like confetti.

He said he would be here.

The day after the grand event.

He said.

I let out
an
exhausted
sigh. 

He.

A shattered glass.

I never got to say 

Momentary deep breaths.

Goodbye.  

The Farm (incomplete)

A father
to his son
once spoke
words
that appeared
to fall
on deaf
ears.

Each day
this father
labored away
with hopes
of an
eventual
harvest.

Seasons passed
and
to no avail.

Seasons past
he reflects
now
-memories so
frail.

A father
to his son
once spoke
words
that appeared
to fall
on deaf
ears,
but that
boy-

boy,
did he try.

Each day
he labored away
with hopes
of creating
a harvest.

Seasons passed
and
the crops
each one would
fail.

Seasons past
he reflects
now
-memories
written in braille.

This father,
his heart aching
to see
his young son
grow,

persisted each day.

Sleepless nights.
Troublesome days.

This son,
his heart aching
to be
a young man,
-to know.

self-loathing of his own dismay.

Sleepless nights.
Troublesome days.

As each of them toiled
and troweled,
sifting through
the barren fruits
of their shared
labor-
uncertain of who
was failing
who.

The guilt
whispering
of failing
the other.

Their hands
burned with
broken blisters,
oozing
out the
last bits
of infected
pride.