And tonight
I slip deeper
than I have before.

I slip down
and
this time
I won't
arise
to where
I once
stood. 

But my sweet, sweet love,

I fear that my love is deeper than 

any ocean,

more expansive than all of the galaxies,

fuller than any of your fantasies,

and better 

than 

what we think ourselves to deserve.  

The Fear

more oft than not
oh who am I kidding
always

I fear that I am simply
not enough


I did not feel
prepared for this
for any of it

and yet
each day
I arise to a new life

one that is so vaguely familiar
so ambiguously mine

No notion of
where to go
from here
if at all
anywhere

No sense
of what is to
come next.

A pit
as wrinkled
and hardened
as one of a peach
sits like acid
in my chest.

I melt away with time
more oft than not
I melt away with
fear.

The petals stopped falling
My dear
Our flowers
Have wilted

Must we keep
Planting more?

If ever this room 

could stop spinning

maybe we could catch

our breath

The clock struck eleven

fifty-seven minutes ago

and I think that we

must be doomed

if only

it could all end

so I could just

catch a breath

of fresh air

if only the get out of this

white walled, single celled 

room that the disillusioned

poets 

began calling, "life"

 

All of my fears
have followed me down
into the depths of my dreams

I am drowning
but I'm wide
awake.

Is that how it feels
to fell
alive?

Lost between the words
Lost between the moments

Don't
Forget
Your
Self.